


Ripples

by Minky-way (Cardgamesonmotorcycles)



Series: MizuSei Prompts [6]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Arguing, Domestic Disputes, M/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 16:18:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3902758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cardgamesonmotorcycles/pseuds/Minky-way
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snap (verb) To break suddenly and completely</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ripples

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fill for an anon on Tumblr who said- Could you write some mizusei fights? I know you've written it once before. But like maybe mizuki hits sei for some reason? And seis crying? (And then they make up?)
> 
> Quick warning, while I don't think this contains 'graphic descriptions of violence' it could be considered domestic violence and does feature a violent act, so read with caution!

“I’m not having this conversation again, Sei!”

“Why not? It’s important to me.”

“Yeah well, not everything’s about you.” The words cut too deep, his world had always revolved around Sei before and now it felt like cracks were appearing between them. He felt guilty immediately, but anger still lay underneath as he ran an exasperated hand down his face. “Fuck it, whatever, I’m going out.”

The door slammed painfully loud, making Sei flinch as he stared at the glossy wood which his boyfriend was concealed by. He flopped back onto the sofa with an annoyed huff of air, heavy sigh leaving his lungs as his eyes wavered out of focus. He knew Mizuki was touchy about it, but he was just interested, that wasn’t exactly a crime, so why he had to get so upset about it, he didn’t know. He decided to ignore it for now, Mizuki would probably be in a better mood when he returned, so he watched TV til about 11pm, when he climbed into bed, unable to sleep in the empty apartment.

* * *

 

He hadn’t known what he was planning when he stormed out, getting drunk was his first idea, but he knew it would only end with him getting angrier. Sei didn’t deserve that. But his innocent questions were like daggers tearing open his old wounds and he couldn’t stand to see the blood. It was in the past, years ago now, they both knew that. They were together now, and as far as Mizuki could see, that was all that could possibly matter in the world. So why did Sei need to pry and prod and pick at stitches that until now had held firm?

His hair was already a mess from the long run he had decided to go on, hand running through the sweaty locks only making it worse. He probably looked like shit, tired and broiling over with confusion and lack of understanding, and most painfully of all, doubt. He didn’t really care, he just needed to get back to the apartment, apologise and make everything better again.

* * *

 

The sound of smashing woke Sei up from his troubled sleep, jerking upright in bed, limbs stiff with fear and eyes wide. His imagination conjured images of burglars, armed with knives and rooting through their stuff for valuables, or opposing Rib gangs with a grudge.

But he forced himself out of bed, feeling incredibly unsafe as he crept through the apartment, noticing the kitchen light was on and frowning. Surely a robber wouldn’t be stupid enough as to turn lights on? Reassurance came a second later as a familiar voice, muttering darkly seeped through the open door.

“Mizuki?” He asked cautiously, not receiving a reply but certain it was him as he poked his head into the room, frown widening as he took in the scene. There was a broken glass on the floor, puddle around it showing it had been filled with water. More distressingly though, was the pinkish tinge it had taken, and the blood dripping from a deep cut on Mizuki’s hand even as he tried to find the first-aid kit in the cabinets, cursing all the while.

The bartender made no acknowledgment that he had heard him, growing angrier as more cupboards yielded no helpful results, slamming the last one shut. “I can never find anything in this stupid. Fucking. KITCHEN!” His voice rose to a roar and he punched the nearest cabinet, red blood smear marring the white plastic and barely reacting to the pain he must no doubt be in, if the force he’d used was any indication.

Sei flinched backwards, he hated it when Mizuki was angry, he wasn’t exactly afraid of him, but it was frightening to see. His voice trembled when he spoke and the tattooists face jerked upwards, anger seeping from his form as he slumped back against the kitchen wall. “M-Mizuki? Are you okay?”

His eyes were on his hand, blood beginning to clot now and only the occasional thick droplet falling to join the puddle on the ground as he spoke, tone self-depreciating. “You don’t have to sound so scared.”

Now was Sei’s turn to feel guilty, biting his lip and ignoring Mizuki’s response as he reached on top of the fridge to find the first aid kit. He was careful of the glass on the floor with his bare feet, stepping over Mizuki’s drawn up legs to the other side of the kitchen, safely away from the sharp shards and able to sit down next to his damaged hand.

“I’m not scared of you.” His voice was soft as he spoke but he reached for Mizuki’s tanned skin like you would approach a rabid dog, cautiously and slowly, mildly relieved when his boyfriend just accepted the touch silently.

“Well maybe you should be.” They were whispering, but neither knew why, the silent atmosphere feeling heavy and oppressive. His hand throbbed as Sei finished cleaning it, deciding it didn’t quite need stitches and beginning to bandage it securely.

“Don’t be silly, Mizu.” He remarked dismissively, raising his boyfriend’s hand to his face to plant a quick kiss on the bandaged skin, a sure way to make it heal faster. Mizuki’s eyes were still on him as he lowered it back down, and there was something in his eyes that Sei didn’t like.

“I’ve hurt people, Sei. People I care about.” His voice was harsh and almost spat out, a far cry from Sei’s own gentle tones. “People I love.”

They both knew who he was talking about, the person who had started the argument in the first place, the person who started almost all their arguments. But Sei couldn’t bring himself to feel too sad for the reiteration of something he’d known all along.

“Well then I guess I’ll have to risk it.”

Mizuki shrugged Sei’s hand off seconds later, standing up and beginning to pace away, stepping carefully over the shattered glass and seemingly ignoring his boyfriend’s statement. He paused in the doorway, silhouetted darkly against the dim light seeping into the living room, shoulders slumped down and form defeated as his bandaged hand, now bloodied again, curled round the doorframe. “It’s not something you should have to risk.”

Sei’s frown deepened, almost stepping into the puddle of blood as he crossed the kitchen, eyebrows furrowed as he gripped onto Mizuki’s sleeve, ducking under his arm to stand in front of him.

“Mizuki…” he was almost disappointed to hear him talk about himself so harshly, but tenderness swirled in his voice as he worked his fingers to intertwine with his, peeling them off the door and squeezing. He refused to finish speaking until Mizuki met his eyes, “Look at me. Hey, look at me.”

Finally olive green orbs raised up to lock with his, though they kept flitting away in shame, focusing on something in the room beyond only to flicker back a second later.

“I love you, Mizuki. Whatever you did in the past doesn’t matter. I’m not scared of you and I’m never going to be, okay?”

“But-“

“But. Nothing.” Sei sighed, easing backwards slightly and letting their fingers fall apart, distance between them feeling like a fissure that would widen into a chasm. “I’m sorry about earlier, I shouldn’t have pried.”

Mizuki shook his head, reassured sounding breath leaving him as he shuffled forwards to wrap his arms round Sei’s neck, nose buried in his hair. “M’sorry too.”

Sei smiled, knowing they’d always forgive each other in the end, they always had, and always would. It was just the way they worked. He stretched onto his tip-toes, giving his boyfriend a short but sweet kiss before pulling back with a soft smile. “It’s late, let’s go to bed.”

The Rib leader followed silently, allowing Sei to lead him to their bedroom and stripping down to his boxers, not bothering to shower despite the layer of dried sweat on him. His form was still almost mournful, face in a constant frown even as he pulled Sei into his arms, wrapping strong limbs around him and pressing tired eyes into his skin.

He deserved better.

* * *

 

“What are you even asking Sei? What do you want to know?” Sei opened his mouth to reply, eyes blazing with indignity, but Mizuki wouldn’t let him speak, this had been building up inside and he felt like overflowing. His voice grew harsher and he wasn’t thinking at all, an unpleasant throwback to his arguments with Sly, where feelings weren’t even considered. “Do you want to know what the sex was like? How I fucked him? What it felt like when he sucked my dick?”

Every sentence was followed with a push at Sei’s shoulders, shoving him closer to the wall and trapping him in the corner of the room. He’d never laid a finger on Sei before, sure he’d acted aggressive and more than once he’d thrown things, but he had never so much as pushed him. But now? He had snapped. Sei’s eyes were wide and the anger in his eyes was hard and steely, glinting with rage, any fear he might feel lost under a blanket of sheer resentment.

“I want to know why you’re still obsessed with him! I want to know why you can’t forget him!” He was angry, pushing back at Mizuki with little effect as his feet barely moved across the carpeted floor, hands slapping against his pecs ineffectively.

“Well I’m sorry, I guess some people just can’t let go!” Mizuki’s voice rose accusatorially at the end of the sentence, pointed barb intended to hurt Sei as much as possible. If he was clinging on to this whole thing, why couldn’t Mizuki point it out?

“Well why can’t you when he obviously has? If he doesn’t care then why should you?” His words were spiteful and malicious, intended to inflict as much heartache as possible, done with hiding his feelings to protect his boyfriends own. “It’s not like he ever even loved you or-“

The slap came as if from nowhere. Mizuki had turned to walk away, letting Sei’s voice ring behind him and deciding to leave now before it went any further. But hearing those words, the words Sei knew would hurt him the most, snapped any self-restraint he had left, spinning round on his heel to deliver a brutal backhand to Sei’s right cheek. The force of his hand made Sei’s head twist to the side, left side of his face smashing into the wall and blood bursting from his lip. He cried out in pain as he fell to the ground, clutching his face and staring in horror at the blood that dripped down his chin onto his lap. It didn’t take long for him to start crying, fat, salty tears trickling down his face as he curled into himself, almost anticipating another hit and shaking. He tried to stay quiet as his cheek began to throb, nose beginning to run and trying not to sniff, feeling pathetic. He couldn’t believe Mizuki had just hit him, made him bleed no less. He felt almost like he was in a horrible nightmare and he’d wake up any minute, warm and safe in bed with his boyfriend who’d roll over and hold him close until the fear seeped away.

But that’s not what was happening, this was reality and the ache of his cheek was real and the sound of shuffling footsteps coming nearer made him flinch and curl up. Mizuki had been someone who would never, ever hurt him. But now he had broken the trust Sei had in him, sure they’d been arguing, it wasn’t like they never had before, but neither of them had ever gotten this malicious and vindictive and spiteful. Neither of them had ever preyed on the others weaknesses and insecurities to score a point, and neither of them had ever, ever hurt the other, even accidentally.

 

The air was frozen and every step felt like treacle weighed his feet down. The anger dissipated as quickly as it had come, leaving him tired and weary, but by then it was too late. He’d watched as Sei fell, like he was behind a sheet of glass or watching on a TV, he felt unreal and disconnected from everything. It was like everything stopped the moment his hand connected, the images afterwards just coming through as static that made his ears ring and his stomach churn. But it all rushed back in an instant, smashing into him almost as hard as his palm had onto Sei’s cheek, making him stagger backwards and grip onto the table behind him.  
He had hit him. He had hit Sei.

The silence stretched on, painful and eerie, almost waiting for something to break it so their lives could resume again. It was like they were stuck on pause, frozen in place and waiting for somebody to start them running again, or rewind. What Mizuki would give to rewind and start over.

 

Sei’s face was aching now, swelling and hot to the touch, and he whimpered as he touched it, opening his mouth to suck in a noisy, shaky breath, wet with tears. He shuffled closer to the wall, trying to hide despite the fact that he was in clear view, and could still see Mizuki’s trainer-clad feet, standing motionless by the dining table where they had eaten just hours earlier.

Mizuki’s voice was stuck in his throat, brain trying to process what was happening and throat constricting with guilt and his stomach heaving like he was going to throw up. He took a shaking step forwards, listening to Sei’s breath hitch and a whimper leave his scrunched up form.

“S-Sei?” His voice was wavering madly, breaking and tripping over itself as he lowered himself down beside his crying boyfriend, hand reaching out to touch him.

He wasn’t surprised when it was slapped away, swallowing thickly around the undeserved tears that built in his eyes, threatening to spill when he had no right to be crying. He tried again, crouching but making no attempt to touch him, trying to keep his voice steady. He needed to see what he had done, to know how bad it was. He needed to try and make it right, and helping Sei was the first stage, pathetic an attempt as it seemed.

“Sei? Babe? Let me see?” He sniffed and scrubbed at his eye viciously, he had no right to be crying when he’d done something so disgusting. “Please?”

Sei didn’t respond for a moment, his pale hand raised to wipe his nose and his hair hiding his face, uncurling his limbs slowly as the softness of Mizuki’s voice reassured him, overdue though it was.

Mizuki gasped when he turned his face in his direction, eyes downcast but injuries obvious already. He clasped a hand over his mouth to hide his sob, green eyes flitting over the damage, his cheek was already swollen, pink hand mark plainly visible with green and purple angry bruises starting to form. His lip was split and was crusted with brown blood that marked his chin and t-shirt. Oh God. He didn’t stop himself from crying now, tears only falling faster when Sei raised dark eyes to look at him, frightened like an animals and so vulnerable.

His hand was trembling madly as he raised it to brush against Sei’s cheek, trying to ignore the way he flinched before allowing the touch, wincing as he touched tender flesh.

“Shit. Oh shit. Oh fuck, Sei, I’m so fucking sorry. Oh shit.” His words spilled out, curses and panic and guilt and shame. He could barely see, tears obscured his vision. “I… I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just… I was so angry. I… I never wanted to-“

His voice hitched on a sob and broke, words strangled and mutilated by his pounding heart and the spinning of his head. He needed to calm down, he needed to look after Sei. He needed ice-packs, and something to clean the blood off with. He stood up on legs that were so like jelly he was amazed they supported him, managing the trip to the kitchen and suddenly retching, throwing up messily in the sink. His throat burned as he wiped away strings of bile, finding the first aid kit and wrapping an ice-pack in a towel, carrying both through to the living room.

Sei hadn’t moved, dark eyes just staring blankly at the apartment door, glassy as if they weren’t really focusing, but at least he’d stopped crying. That was a good sign… Right?

“Sei? I just… I need to clean you up, okay babe?” He tried his best to smile soothingly, but it was wobbly and wet with tears and probably useless. But Sei didn’t move away when he began dabbing at the blood on his chin with delicate movements. The last thing he wanted was to hurt him more. He offered him the ice-pack, surprised when his fingers wrapped around it and he pressed it to his cheek without prompt.

Silence spread between them, Mizuki couldn’t look away from the mark on his face, where he’d ruined the skin and destroyed so much.

“Sei-.” He began to speak, not sure what he wanted to say but knowing he needed to say something. But Sei suddenly stood, ignoring him and walking into their bedroom, door shutting behind him ominously final.

Mizuki was left alone in their living room, blood on the floor making his empty stomach hurt and his hands winding into his hair to pull, hard. He didn’t want to leave Sei alone, but he knew he was the last person his boyfriend wanted to see right now, so he prepared himself for a night of no sleep on the couch.

How he fell asleep in amongst the self-loathing and disgust, he didn’t know, only waking again when the apartment door slammed shut and light streamed through the windows.

* * *

 

Sei ignored him when he came back, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and shutting himself away in their bedroom again, face even more swollen than it had been the night before. The apartment was sad and lonely with the distance between them, Mizuki made food every mealtime, enough for two, knocking on the door and leaving it outside. It almost never got touched, and Mizuki would scrape away the leftovers with a heavy heart, still, he didn’t have much of an appetite himself. He secluded himself, telling Tio he was ill and couldn’t work all week, wondering as each day passed whether Sei would end up leaving him alone again. What scared him most was that there wouldn’t be a single thing he could say if he did.

It was hard, going to sleep without him there, knowing he was just a room away, curled up in their bed, which probably seemed huge without the bartender there. His sleep came fitfully, he woke up covered in sweat and with the image of Sei’s terrified eyes flooding into his brain, unable to hold in the tears that came as he tried to stay quiet. The least he could do now was stay quiet so Sei could sleep, even if he couldn’t.

But one night, it was almost too much, he wanted to crawl into bed with Sei and curl up next to him and have arms wrap around him, words whispered in his ear and hands smoothing his greasy hair down. But he couldn’t, because he’d fucked everything up so bad and done something incredibly disgusting and completely unforgivable. If he was Sei, he’d never forgive him. Even if Sei did somehow forgive him, he knew he could never, ever forgive himself. He wasn’t worthy of Sei. He was despicable.

Sly didn’t love him and now, neither did Sei, and it was almost too much for him to take, muffling his tears into a couch cushion and sobbing like a child til the early hours where exhaustion made him fall asleep.

* * *

 

“Oh my God! What the fuck happened to your face?” Noiz remarked the moment he opened the door, usual emotionless disposition gone as his eyes widened in shock.

Sei squirmed under his gaze, pushing past him to enter the apartment and sinking into his chair exhaustedly, limbs feeling like they weighed a million pounds. The sharp inhale when he removed his sunglasses didn’t go unnoticed and he looked up to see Noiz, arms crossed, stood in front of him with a no-nonsense expression on his face.

He sighed, rubbing his good eye and curling his legs up onto the chair, voice emotionless as he spoke, “me and Mizuki had a fight.”

There was silence for a second as Noiz took this in, then a low hiss, “he hit you?”

Sei didn’t answer, he just bit his lip and looked off to the side, staring at the peeling wallpaper behind Noiz’s sink, piled high with dirty crockery.

“Mizuki did this.” This time it wasn’t a question, and Sei could hear the anger growing in Noiz’s voice, eyes widening in alarm as he pulled his boots on. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

“NO!” Sei’s voice came out louder than he’d intended, rising from the chair and grabbing onto Noiz’s hand tightly, eyes wide with alarm and something Noiz couldn’t quite place.

“What do you mean, no? He hit you, Sei! You can’t let him get away with it!” He paused, controlling his anger but still wrenching his hand free of Sei’s grasp, lime green eyes narrowing calculatingly. “Tell me you’re not going back to him.”

“Of course I am! I love him!” It was the first time Sei had admitted it out loud in nearly a week, but hearing it verbalised he was shocked at how certain and firm his voice was.

Noiz stilled, sighing loudly and flopping on to the armrest of the chair, running crooked fingers through his hair and pulling at his hand piercings absently. “Sei, you can’t let him hurt you. You don’t deserve that.”

Sei’s eyes remained fixed on his lap, fingers squeezing together and moving anxiously as he spoke, “I did this time. I was... I said some really cruel things, Noiz.”

“He still shouldn’t have hit you, no matter what you said.” Noiz couldn’t understand Sei’s logic, if someone you loved had hit you hard enough to bruise, and split his lip by the look of things, you’d have to be one hell of a masochist to want to stay. But then, Noiz had never really loved anyone enough to know how he’d react, maybe he’d feel the same as Sei.

“He won’t do it again.”

“How do you know?” Noiz felt guilty, Sei had probably come here for comfort, or just for a distraction from it, and instead Noiz was giving him the third degree. But he needed to know Sei was making the right decision, that he’d be safe.

An almost chuckle left Sei, surprising him just as much as it did Noiz. “Because he’s punishing himself for it. He’s slept on the couch all week but I don’t think he’s actually slept much, I keep hearing him crying.” His throat thickened as he remembered how much it had hurt to listen and not go to his side. “He thinks I don’t love him either.”

There was silence while Noiz took this in, one hand moving to fiddle with a strand of Sei’s hair, twisting it around his digit and wondering what it felt like, soft? Dry? Smooth? “Either?”

“Yeah just, just something from the past. Somebody. It’s not important.” Sei’s answer was calm enough, but Noiz knew he was hiding something, deciding to leave it for now. Sei had come here to see him after all, he may as well be a good host.

“Hm, you hungry? I was gunna order pizza.”

Sei smiled for the first time in a week, just longing for the apartment to be this normal when he returned, but knowing it wouldn’t be for a long while.

 

Nearly a week and a half had passed, 10 days of misery and awkward interactions and avoiding each other while sharing the same, suddenly small seeming, space. Mizuki didn’t know what to do to make it better, there was nothing he could do, he tried apologising every time he saw Sei, but was always flatly ignored. He cooked his favourite meals and left them outside their bedroom, bought flowers and cuddly toys and basically tried everything he could think of, pathetic or not, to try and show Sei how fucking sorry he was.

But it wasn’t enough.

It was the night of the tenth day, he hadn’t seen Sei in two whole days, the roses outside their bedroom door were wilting and the food was growing mould. He could hear crying, heartbroken and lonely, seeping through the door and into the living room, making him feel powerless and like more of a scummy human being than he already was. His legs were already bruised from the amount of times he’d gotten angry at himself and punched them, but he couldn’t stop it, purple-yellow skin barely marked in comparison to Sei’s face, which had only just started going back to normal.

God, he just really fucking missed him, even though he knew he had no right to, he missed spending all their time together, cuddling with him to watch TV, sneaking into his showers just so he could wash his hair and getting to kiss him whenever he wanted. He’d gotten so used to the closeness that now it was gone he was like a drug addict in rehab, his skin itched for Sei and it took all his self-control to stay away, to let Sei have time to evaluate his feelings. He was just so near, so painfully near, and he was hurt, crying at night and barely eating. Mizuki would give anything to be able to go to him and comfort him, to apologise and apologise and hold him so tight it felt like he’d never let go.

But he didn’t deserve to. So he rolled onto his side, ignoring the tears that dripped down his face and shutting his eyes, hoping that tomorrow, things would be better.

* * *

 

The sound of their bedroom door opening in the middle of the night wasn’t exactly strange to him, Sei nearly always only came out at night when Mizuki was sleeping, to get a drink from the kitchen or to use the toilet. His ears pricked up, wanting to catch every noise, almost like he could get some clue as to how Sei was based just on the sound of him moving about. But the soft pad of footsteps stopped short of the kitchen, seeming to have paused in front of the sofa on which Mizuki lay. Now he wished his face wasn’t buried in the backrest, if he faced the other way he could crack an eye open and see what he was doing, but like this? He had no idea.  He swallowed, waiting with shallow breaths for Sei to move on, go about his business then disappear again. But a minute passed, then two, and there was no more sound. He began to doubt his own ears, rolling over to check if he was imagining things, surprised at the silhouette he could see, standing near the TV and seemingly staring at him.

He swallowed thickly, oh God, was this it? Was Sei getting one last look before leaving the next morning? Were his bags already in their room and packed, ready for someone to pick him up, probably Noiz, the nest day? No. He couldn’t let it end like this.

“Sei?” He asked, voice soft as he eased himself to sit up, blanket falling off him and onto the floor, but he didn’t even notice. His eyes readjusted to the dark quickly, and he could make out Sei’s form better, his left hand was in his mouth, biting at his nails nervously, other arm wrapped protectively around his middle. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he could see tear tracks on his cheeks.

He didn’t respond, but Mizuki hadn’t really expected any different, breathing a defeated sigh and letting his head rest in his hands, not wanting to look at Sei any more, it was too painful. He almost wished he would just leave, then he’d know what was going on, he’d be able to try and deal with it. He hated this in-between stage, this uncertainty that kept him hoping. If he was going to leave, he should do it already. His heart throbbed painfully in his chest, every beat reminding him of how painful it was to be apart from his other half like this.

A sob tore out of Sei’s lungs, almost ripped from his lips and Mizuki flinched, he didn’t think he’d ever heard a more painful noise in his life, it made his lip quiver and his eyes flood again. Then he heard movement, and barely had time to raise his head before Sei barrelled into his arms, tears he’d been trying to keep silent these last few days erupting from him as he bawled like a child, sobbing into Mizuki’s shoulder hysterically.

He’d never heard Sei like this, not when his Grandma died, or Aoba and Ren left to go travelling, not during sad films or anything. It made his entire body shake and his hands were trembling where they dug into his back, holding on like Mizuki was his lifeline and if he let go he’d be dragged under. Mizuki’s inhale of shock brought the overwhelming scent of Sei into his lungs, sharp green apple, black coffee, ink. It filled him with nostalgia and all he could do was wrap his arms back round him, pulling him closer, falling back onto the sofa in a mess of limbs, snot and tears. It was messy, and kinda gross, but fuck Mizuki was just so relieved, even as hot tears ran down his cheeks and he held Sei almost possessively, running a furiously shaking hand through his hair and rocking them both.

“I’m so sorry.” He managed to sob, voice weak and full of all the pain he’d felt since their argument had ended, viciously and bloodily. “I never wanted to hurt you, ever. But I…I.”

He couldn’t finish, dissolving into tears and sobs and sniffles, feeling Sei’s arms tighten around him and somehow knowing he was forgiven. It only made him cry harder.

“I-“ It was the first time in a week he’d heard Sei’s voice, it was like music to his ears, clogged with tears though it was. “I’m sorry.”

Mizuki chuckled at that, releasing his hold just slightly, arms still firmly round his waist, shifting so he could hear him and thumbing away his tears. “I really fucking missed you.”

Sei’s watery smile made Mizuki feel like his heart was going to burst, his smaller hand coming to pull the bartenders off his back and lace their fingers together, thumb running over the scar on Mizuki’s palm. “I missed you too.”

Mizuki’s smile was wide, now the barriers between them were gone, nothing was stopping him for pulling Sei in for a kiss. It tasted of snot and salt and was pretty disgusting, but they still both grinned like idiots when they parted.

Faith had to be repaired, Sei had to learn to learn to trust Mizuki again, to let him in and know he wouldn’t hurt him. Had to learn not to flinch when they argued, needed to have certainty that he wouldn’t do anything other than shout. But they could do it together. He’d always felt invincible with Mizuki at his side.

* * *

 

The next time they argued, it was different. Mizuki was yelling again, waving his arms around angrily, but the second he advanced on Sei, he froze, eyes widening as he realised his aggressive stance and clenched fist, raised as if ready to strike. He just stopped, stopped arguing, shoulders slumping and face downcast, disappointment and disgust lacing his expression as he took a step back. It took nearly a week for him to stop hating himself, and it was painful for Sei to watch him torture himself over something he’d been forgiven for. But of course, things didn’t fix so easily. It had spread, like ripples over a pond, dramatic at first, but the effects were far reaching.

Sometimes, even months later, he’d catch Mizuki frowning at the bloodstain on the floor they hadn’t quite been able to scrub out, and he’d have to take him by the hand with a bubbly giggle and a wide smile and distract him with something else. Or when they were in bed, just cuddled up, Mizuki’s hand would trace the left side of his face, thumb running over the scar on his lip and his eyes would flood with guilt, Sei would always nip at his fingers to make him smile again.

Even if Mizuki thought he didn’t deserve Sei, he had no idea that sometimes, late at night while the bartender was sleeping, Sei would stare at the cut on his hand and think just how lucky he was, to have someone as amazing as Mizuki to call his own.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr at- motorcycle-chan.tumblr.com  
> Or DMMd blog- minky-way.tumblr.com


End file.
